Fields of Gold
by LaneWinree51
Summary: Remus reflects on friendships and love lost on a crisp autumn evening. A songfic set to Sting's "Fields of Gold"


Disclaimer: Though I love this fandom, I do not own Harry Potter. Thanks to JK Rowling. "Fields of Gold" was written and performed by Sting.

_You'll remember me when the west wind moves__  
__Upon the fields of barley__  
__You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky__  
__As we walk in the fields of gold_

Remus was burning the midnight oil again. It seemed like every night for the last few weeks he was up late working on an extended writing assignment. Yesterday it was an analysis of the moons of Jupiter for Astronomy. The day before it was an explanation of the various uses of Fanged Geraniums. The week prior had been devoted to a rather lengthy assignment covering various goblin rebellions over the years. Tonight it was a three scroll critical analysis of Staghorns and their use in medicinal potions. As near as He could tell, Staghorns had exactly one use in medicinal potions and that single use wasn't particularly noteworthy. He bitterly noted that it was going to take a small miracle to fill up three scrolls for this assignment.

As he set one dusty book borrowed from the Hogwarts to the library to the side, Remus heaved a sigh. He wouldn't be seeing his bed anytime soon at this rate. He reached for another book at the center of the table he was sitting at. Just as he was about to close his fingers around the book's spine, another hand brushed against his.

"Oh!" Lily exclaimed, surprised by the sudden contact. "Sorry, Remus. I didn't realize you needed that book."

"Just for a moment," Remus said, withdrawing his hand quickly. "I wanted to cross-check a few facts."

Well, he said to himself, at least I have company tonight.

Lily handed Remus the book, "Honestly I can't believe we're researching Staghorns. I can't name a more useless ingredient."

"I personally believe that all potion professors are bitter because they didn't find more lucrative work for the Ministry," Remus said. "Their only recourse is to assign multi-scroll research topics to their students as a way to share their misery with the general public."

Lily covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she tried to stifle a laugh. It was late, and it wouldn't be prudent to wake the other students, "Now Remus, you know that's not true."

"It's plausible," Remus said with a half-smile.

"Plausible, but unlikely," Lily replied. "Say, Remus…"

"Hm?" Remus asked as he thumbed through the pages of the old book.

Lily shook her head, "Oh, nothing."

Remus looked up from the book, raising a brow, "Something on your mind?"

"I was just wondering if you were planning to go to Hogsmeade next week," Lily said, leaning back in her chair.

He shrugged, "I don't think so. I've got a four-scroll assignment for Transfiguration that I haven't started on yet and-"

"Remus," Lily cast him a stern look, "You spend more time on your studies than I do, and that's saying something. Please, take a day off. Why don't you meet me at the Three Broomsticks?"

"Lily, you know I can't," Remus could feel himself blushing. What was Lily getting at? "Besides, James would-"

"Forget about James for a moment, would you?" Lily folded her arms. "You need some time off, and we're friends, right? I can't think of anything wrong with two friends enjoying some Butterbeer on a crisp fall afternoon. Can you?"

_No, nothing at all,_ he thought to himself. Other than the fact that if I'm caught alone with you my best friend will kill me.

"I don't know," Remus said. "I've really got a lot of work to do and…"

"Please, Remus?" Lily mock-pouted. "We both could use a day off and you know it."

There was no winning this battle, he realized, "Fine, I'll go to Hogsmeade. Don't be surprised if I bring the others with me."

Lily looked disappointed when he said that the other Marauders may be with him, but she smiled nonetheless, "Thank you, Remus."

Not another word about the trip to Hogsmeade was mentioned that night. A few hours later they had somehow managed to write up their scrolls on staghorns. They bid eachother a courteous "good night" and retreated to their beds. Try as he might, Remus just couldn't fall asleep. Was this a date with Lily Evans? Of course not. Like she said, it was just two friends enjoying a drink together on a crisp fall afternoon.

Nothing more, nothing less.

_So she took her love__  
__For to gaze awhile__  
__Upon the fields of barley__  
__In his arms she fell as her hair came down__  
__Among the fields of gold_

Remus took a seat at the table, smiling at Lily as he pulled his scarf off of his neck. Outside the window beside the table was a beautiful view of Hogsmeade. Buildings surrounded by trees in the midst of autumn glory. The entire view was bathed in a red and golden hue. He was starting to wonder why he had objected to coming to Hogsmeade. Granted, he had work he needed to take care of, but the view outside was just pretty enough to take his mind off of his responsibilities for a little while.

"Where are the others?" Lily asked.

Remus jumped a bit, Lily's words awaking him from his thoughts, "Zonko's Joke shop is having a sale, apparently. I snuck out while they were drooling over the displays. I imagine they'll be busy for a while."

"Honestly I don't understand the friends you keep," Lily said.

Remus held up his hand, "They may be crude and crass-"

"And rude, ill-tempered, foul, vulgar," Lily added.

"But they're loyal," Remus finished. "I couldn't ask for better friends."

Lily shook her head as she flagged down one of the tavern's attendants, ordering two tankards of Butterbeer, "I'll give you that. I'm not sure I've ever heard the four of you speak ill of one another."

"You haven't heard us go on about Sirius' hair, have you?" Remus grinned half-heartedly.

"You know what I mean," Lily frowned.

Remus chuckled, "They're good people, Lily."

For the next hour Remus and Lily talked. There was nothing pressing on either of their minds. They shared stories of their families and friends. They discussed their hopes for the school term. They talked of music and games, food and sports. It was the kind of meandering conversation two friends would share in a little inn and tavern. There were no worries about school that day. Later they would leave the Three Broomsticks together. As they crossed through a nearby grass field, Remus noticed the golden color of the ground below. The setting sun was at just the right angle to cast everything in that warm color.

A cold breeze wandered through the air as they made their way back to Hogwarts. He glanced to his left as Lily leaned into him. Surely she was just cold. It was a chilly day, after all.

_Will you stay with me, will you be my love__  
__Among the fields of barley__  
__We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky__  
__As we lie in the fields of gold_

Remus breathed in the cold autumn air as he took a seat on the grass, looking out into the distance at the forest beyond Hagrid's hut. It was hard to believe this would be the last autumn season he would see at Hogwarts. Six years had passed and now he was embarking on his seventh and final year of study at the world's most renowned school of magic. He had learned so much and met so many people. He had gotten to his fair share of troubles but had experienced his fair share of triumphs. He realized that before long, it would all be over.

Was this nostalgia he was feeling?

"Room here for two?" Someone said from behind Remus.

Remus glanced over his shoulder, smiling at the sight of Lily Evans, "I think so."

Lily sat down on the grass beside Remus, drawing her legs up to her chest, "A little unusual for you to be sitting out here by yourself. Something wrong?"

"No, not really," he said as he his head to look at Lily. "Just admiring the view."

Lily raised a brow as an amused smile played upon her lips, "Excuse me?"

Remus stammered for a moment, his cheeks turning bright red, "The forest, I mean."

"It is a pretty sight, isn't it?" Lily said with a nod. "Seems like we're always having these conversations this time of the year. You need to choose a warmer time of the year for us to have these annual get-togethers."

Remus laughed, "Was it really four years ago when we started this little tradition?"

"If you were anymore stubborn I would have never gotten you to go to Hogsmeade with me," Lily said. "You're lucky that I'm willing to look after your sanity."

"You have my eternal gratitude," Remus replied.

Every year since their third year Lily and Remus would set a crisp fall evening aside to enjoy each other's company. Every year they would do the same things. They would talk about their family and friends, music and games, food and sports. Today was a little different, however. Both Lily and Remus knew this would be the last time they would get the chance to converse like this. Perhaps they would stay in contact after their lives at Hogwarts ended, but never again would they be able to enjoy an autumn afternoon in the shadow of the school they both loved.

"What do you plan to do after Hogwarts?" Lily asked.

He shrugged, "To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. I haven't put a whole lot of thought into it. You?"

"I might go into potion making," Lily said.

"That would suit you," Remus noted. Lily had a special gift when it came to concocting potions.

Really, Lily was a special young woman. She was smart, she was kind, she was energetic. At times she was even forceful. Remus smiled as he recalled James' ill-fated attempt to ask her out during fifth year. He somewhat doubted that Lily would chose a giant squid over James, but he had to admit that it had been a humbling moment for his best friend. As much as he respected him, even he acknowledged that James could afford to be humbled every now and then.

If it wasn't for James…Remus dismissed that thought.

"I have to thank you, Remus," Lily said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"For what?" he asked as he felt a blush form upon his cheeks.

"It's nice having someone to talk to and confide in," Lily explained, her index finger drawing patterns on Remus' leg. "After what Severus said I didn't really have someone that I could really talk to anymore. It was hard…Sev and I had been friends for so long."

"Really, it's nothing," Remus said, turning his head to look at Lily.

How it happened, he wasn't sure. For that matter, he wasn't exactly sure _when_ it happened. One moment he was looking at Lily. The next she was wrapped up in his arms and her lips were pressed to his. At first he felt confused. Then elated. He was kissing Lily Evans, the girl he had fancied for so long. Then he was panicked. He was kissing Lily Evans, the girl who was absolutely off limits. Remus awakened from his thoughts with a jolt

"Lily, no," Remus said. "I can't, you know James-"

"James this, James that!" Lily snapped. "Can't you think for yourself for a change?"

He closed his eyes sighed, "James Potter is the most loyal man I know and the most loyal friend anyone could have."

"So what?" Lily asked. "I've got no interest in Potter."

"He fancies you, Lily," Remus explained. "He is head-over-heels for you and because he's my best friend…" he swallowed. "And because he's my best friend I'm obligated to tell you that you would be extraordinarily lucky to have him."

"Get off it, Remus," Lily said, sitting upright and pulling her legs to her chest again.

"I need you to trust me," Remus said. "I've never lied to you and I have no intention of starting now. James Potter is a remarkable person, Lily. Please, give him a chance."

Lily was silent for a moment, "…You're not going to give it a rest, are you?"

"I'm afraid not," he said with a faint smile, _Even though I would love to._

Perhaps it was just Remus' encouragement that finally broke down the barrier between Lily Evans and James Potter. It helped that James had finally done some growing up as well. They would eventually become a pair, and everyone knew that they were perfect for each other. For a long time, he would wonder what could have been. Still, His two closest friends would be happy, and that was good enough for him.

At that moment, however, Lily and Remus would simply watch in silence as the sun began to dip lower and lower. For one last time, they would enjoy the golden autumn sunset together.

_See the west wind move like a lover so__  
__Upon the fields of barley__  
__Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth__  
__Among the fields of gold__  
__I never made promises lightly__  
__And there have been some that I've broken__  
__But I swear in the days still left__  
__We'll walk in the fields of gold__  
__We'll walk in the fields of gold_

Lily would have loved this view, Remus thought bitterly to himself. The leaves around the church had just turned from green to brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow. Many had already fallen to the ground, lining the pathways. For five days straight he had traveled back to the cemetery at Godric's Hollow. Each time he hoped that the knot in his stomach would ease, but if anything the feeling of disgust only got worse. He found that he was completely incapable of sorting through his feelings anymore. Sadness, anger, and depression all formed into one. It was as if his entire being was caught in a vice.

For the fifth straight day Remus approached the grave of two of his closest friends. For the fifth straight day he laid flowers atop it. There lay Lily and James Potter, deceased 31 October 1981. How long hestared at the memorial he didn't know. He wasn't quite sure when the wave of emotion flooded over him. He sat beside the memorial, pressing his back up against the white stone marble. Remus covered his face with his hands and cried.

It hurt to be alive at that moment. James and Lily were dead. Peter's body was never recovered, but he knew all too well that he was gone. Sirius was rotting in Azkaban to atone for the crime he was accused of. Remus was the only one left. Why had he been spared? In one horrible day helost the people that meant the most to him. It seemed almost cruel to be left behind to witness the aftermath. What's worse was what Lily and James had left behind. Somewhere their son was going to grow up without his mother and father.

And there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

With blurry eyes, Remus looked up and out into the distance. The sun had set at just the right angle that the world was lit up in a golden hue. Unfortunately on this day, that golden hue seemed a little less vibrant.

_Many years have passed since those summer days__  
__Among the fields of barley__  
__See the children run as the sun goes down__  
__Among the fields of gold__  
__You'll remember me when the west wind moves__  
__Upon the fields of barley__  
__You can tell the sun in his jealous sky__  
__When we walked in the fields of gold_

Remus leaned against the window of his classroom that overlooked the courtyard. It had been almost two decades. He never expected to find himself back at Hogwarts. The thought of him teaching at the illustrious school was absurd. There was no place for a werewolf in society, yet here he was. He slowly scanned over the courtyard and the school grounds, each visual bringing forth a memory of his youth. He smiled as he recalled the various adventures (and numerous misadventures) he shared with the Marauders. Those were better days. Those were carefree days.

His eyes fell upon the grassy knoll where he and Lily had spent those crisp autumn evenings watching the sun set. In the distance, he saw three figures emerging from Hagrid's hut. Behind them were the trees of the forest, the leaves a brilliant shade of gold. Some fell to the ground below as the fluttered in the cool autumn breeze. As the three students drew closer to the castle, he could make them out. It was Harry Potter and his two closest friends. They were laughing. They were sharing stories of their family and friends. They were discussing music and games, food and sports. They were having a conversation reserved only for the closest of friends.

Remus felt his chest tighten slightly as he watched the son of two of his closest friends return to the courtyard. Just as they disappeared into the Castle, the sun dipped in the horizon at just the right angle. The grassy knoll and forest in the distance transformed once more into a field of gold.

Finis


End file.
